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“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”- Woody Allen
Obsessive Regret
Humans possess the potential to act either well or badly. Therefore there are times in life when we succumb to our base instincts and behave in destructive ways.
As we have the power of choice, however, we hopefully will seek to right our wrongs and look to live a better life. In this process we may be motivated to do something which superficially seems noble, but in truth is very counterproductive, namely continuously examine our past misconduct. The danger here is becoming driven by obsessive guilt and remorse.
We tell ourselves that this preoccupation with guilt demonstrates that we care, that we are sensitive and that we have a conscience. However the truth is exactly the opposite: it’s really just another form of narcissism, disguised as righteousness. For even when contemplating our flaws, we are only thinking of ourselves. How bad I am, how hopeless I am, how doomed I am, how terrible I am.
So while some people cannot stop thinking how superior they are, others can’t resist of thinking how inferior they are.
But both types are thinking only of themselves.
The Kabbalah of Salt
Jewish mysticism uses salt as a metaphor for guilt and remorse. While salt flavours other foods, overly salted food or salt on its own are inedible. If we remain stuck on our past mistakes, we become oversalted and bitter. Like Lot’s wife, we become paralysed and all growth is stifled. We remain trapped and find even more reasons for guilt.
A little bit of remorse and guilt is necessary in life. We need to understand our mistakes and feel pain for our mishaps. This keeps us humble, balanced and honest. Remorse and guilt are essential because they can motivate change. But the moment guilt becomes the dominant emotion in life, it spoils and corrodes all potential to grow.
Don’t dwell on the past. It’s gone. Rather, see yourself as an extension of Divine energy and light. Instead of ruminating on your lowliness, contemplate on how you are a soul being brought into existence at this very moment with a purpose. Live right now and the future will take care of itself.