Happiness Hacks

1. Our Jobs keep us busy. Living with purpose makes us productive.

STOP TRYING TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the challenging and daunting task of “finding your purpose”?

Where do I fit into this grandiose picture? What is my purpose? How do I know when I’m achieving it? And when, and if I do achieve it, what comes next?

I believe these challenges come about because we envision purpose as some kind of monumental achievement, or an extraordinary calling, as opposed to a consistent day to day process.

Therefore, instead of trying to find your purpose, which is something that may remain forever elusive, endeavor to live purposefully. Living purposely can begin in the here and now, this very second, and can be implemented into our daily routines. 

Our internal qualities such as personality, convictions, interests and even weaknesses and vices, once disciplined and channeled, are all part of our distinctive purpose. Each person is unique, indispensable, and granted with special qualities to fulfil their purpose. Self-discovery is the first step to knowing how to be purposeful.

Think about your own unique qualities. Think about the various talents you were blessed with. Now, think of how these qualities and talents can be used to bring meaning to your surroundings.

Also, our opportunities, social and family circles, places we visit and the various experiences that come our way give us our chance to be purposeful.

Consider your opportunities i.e. your education, financial resources, position of influence etc. 

Consider the people in your life. People have strengths and weaknesses. Who can you help through troubled times? Who can you learn from?

Finally, the journey of life at times takes us to unexpected places. We become frustrated with detours and delays because we have an agenda and expectations. But in truth, wherever we are, whether it’s a place we would like to be or not, we are there for a purpose: to do an act of kindness or to learn something new. Our focus should shift to what that purpose might be.

The accumulative energy of these factors – personal strengths, life’s opportunities, our sphere of influence and the geographical places we find ourselves in, carry the secret to our purpose in life.

Dear Velly,

Pesach time last year, I had 9 months, 1 week and 2 days of strong recovery under my belt. I relapsed at my Pesach Seder and it almost costed me my life! I want you to know how cunning my disease of addiction is. I am not a religious Jews in any way. I didn’t keep any of the Mitzvot or customs of Pesach. Yet, when it came to the 4 cups at the Seder, I went all out “Chareidi” and convinced myself that I was obligated to drink wine and only wine, and that drinking anything else would not be considered a proper Seder.

After a year of difficult work, I am back in recovery and with Pesach quickly approaching, what advice do you have for me on how I should go about my Seders this year?

Dear …

The rabbinic instruction to drink four cups of wine at the Seder correspond to the four expression of freedom that G‑d used when promising the Jews that they would be rescued from Egypt: “I will remove you” “I will rescue you,” I will redeem you,” and “I will take you as a nation.”

I know our sages would never encourage life threatening activity and because your situation would be classified as Pikuach Nefesh (life threatening), this instruction must only be fulfilled with grape juice and not wine.

In Chassidic teachings the four cups during the Seder actually serve as a framework for achieving personal freedom.

Here is my personal interpretation of these four expressions, how they could enhance and inspire your recovery journey. This year, you participate in the Seder sober and serene. You are free to listen to each cup and to meditate on its corresponding expression and its unique guidance for sobriety. In this way you can experience true personal redemption where not only do the cups not cause relapse, but in fact they are the impetus to strengthen and deepen recovery.

1. “I will remove you”
A Changed Perspective

In terms of recovery, being “taken out” does not only mean being physically removed, rather it also refers to letting go of previous beliefs. Sobriety demands us to see things differently. Primarily, by lifting the blindfold of self-reliance and admitting our powerlessness. However, this admission and changed perspective do not break me, but they make me and are the firm bedrock upon which a happy and purposeful life is built.

With cup #1

Am I able to actually listen to others? Can I cease to see myself, people, places and things through the egotistical prism of self? Am I prepared to change by humbly admitting that my life is unmanageable on my own? Am I ready to discover an inner strength that, when actively using or drinking, I could not have imagined I possessed?

2. “I will rescue you”
A New Rescuer

To everybody else, the addict’s alcohol consumption or drug use of (no) choice is destructive, irrational and inexplicable behavior. But for addict, it’s the only source of reprieve from the pain they are experiencing. It’s their rescuer in shining armor. The only way to escape the discomfort.

It takes faith to believe that a Higher Power makes recovery possible. For the addict, faith is a complete about-face, a turnaround from irrational substance dependence to suprarational dependence on G-d.

Faith is not about knowledge, reason or sense. It is about abandoning self-reliance and placing trust in a greater power. As the saying in the rooms go: “I can’t. He can. Let Him.”

With cup #2

It may be troubling that I don’t know or understand how this faith thing works. But still I ask for willingness to invite Him in, hand myself over to Him and trust Him. I prefer the illogical faith that leads to sobriety than the irrationality of self-reliance which leads to addiction. For now, this is all I need to know and understand.

3. “I will redeem you”
Recovery is Redemption

By nature, Recovery isn’t about fleeing the addiction, rather, Recovery penetrates the whole addiction experience and finds the healing capacity within addiction itself. Addiction forces us into the deepest recesses of self. Into the darkest pockets within. And despite all that, it creates opportunity for the deepest connections with faith, G-d and the people around us.

So, when looking to recover from addiction, we take the intense sense of urgency and dependence on the substance and re-direct it to recovery.

Instead of our energy being focused on numbing our human experience, we’re now focused on hyper-living and experiencing being human. In this case – miraculously – the cure comes from the disease itself.

With cup #3

I treat my recovery almost like I treated my addiction. By taking the steps, living according to spiritual principles, going to meetings, being of service, taking time for prayer and mindful meditation, seeing my therapist etc., I refocus the inherent energy that powered my addiction, to now inspire my recovery.

I experience ultimate redemption, by transforming the energy of my addiction and using it as a catalyst to elevate myself to a place I could never have reached without my addiction in the first place. We emerge from the darkness with a light that is not simply a light, but a light that overcomes, consumes and transforms the darkness.

As we say in AA: “There is no magic in recovery, just miracles.”

4. “I will take you as a nation.”
Service

A doctor of recovery medicine, with 20 years of recovery himself and has helped hundreds of addicts, once told me “There is no one thing that can guarantee recovery, but if there was it would be service.”

It is Integral in our recovery to "carry this message to other alcoholics." We don’t mistake this as some way we pay back the program, rather, it’s a crucial step in our own sobriety, one of the best ways to strengthen our recovery. Addiction is a disease of self-obsession. Service is the golden key out. Essentially, we are purposeful, not needy, beings. We are at our best when we focus on what we are needed for, as opposed to what we need. Self-absorption is counterproductive and only gets us into this mess in the first place. We find true genuine happiness and life becomes more manageable when we become purpose driven.

With cup #4

Through service I become a channel for something greater than myself. I can choose to be a giver. I focus on turning outwards, positively influencing and inspiring others. I weaken the dominance of my ego. My story, with its ups and downs, can help others move in the right direction. Be it the newcomer that needs a welcoming face and some direction, or the old timer that can use some words of encouragement and reassurance. I have a unique message for other addicts. I may not always be able to help, but when I do, I might be saving a fellow addicts life!

There is a form of happiness that comes from fulfilling our desires, and then there is happiness that results from fulfilling our potential and living with purpose.

When we forget about our own pursuits and instead devote ourselves beyond the self, it is then that we attain genuine happiness, for man is not a “needy” being but a “purposeful” being. When we immerse ourselves into things greater than ourselves, we graduate from artificial gratification to authentic inner happiness.

In today’s era and society, the self dominates. But self-absorption is counterproductive, because happiness lies not in meeting our needs but in living with purpose, especially by making positive contributions to the lives of others.

The stumbling block to this form of genuine happiness is that we become overwhelmed by this challenging and daunting task of “finding our purpose.”

Where do I fit into this grandiose picture? What is my purpose? How do I go about finding my purpose? How do I know when I’m achieving it? And when, and if I do achieve it, what comes next?

I believe these challenges come about because we envision purpose as some kind of monumental achievement, or an extraordinary calling, as opposed to a consistent day to day process.

Therefore, instead of trying to find your purpose, which is something that may remain forever elusive, endeavor to live purposefully. Living purposely can begin in the here and now, this very second, and can be implemented into our daily routines. Hopefully, one day we can look back and know we found our purpose by living a daily life of being purposeful.

Our internal qualities such as personality, convictions, interests and even weaknesses and vices, once disciplined and channeled, are all part of our distinctive purpose. Each person is unique, indispensable, absolutely necessary and granted with special qualities and distinctive responsibilities to fulfil their purpose. Self-discovery is the first step to knowing how to be purposeful.

Also, our opportunities, social and family circles, places we visit and the various experiences that come our way - although not inherent to our nature – give us our chance to be purposeful.

Think about your own unique qualities. Think about the various talents you were blessed with. Now, think of how these qualities and talents can be used to bring meaning to your surroundings.

Consider the opportunities that come your way i.e. your education, financial resources, position of influence etc.  Nothing is random; all life’s journeys are an opportunity.

Consider the people in your life. People have strengths and weaknesses. Who can you help through troubled times? Who can you learn from?

Finally, the journey of life at times takes us to unexpected places. We become frustrated with detours and delays because we have an agenda and expectations. But in truth, wherever we are, whether it’s a place we would like to be or not, we are there for a purpose: to do an act of kindness or to learn something new. Our focus should shift to what that purpose might be.

The accumulative energy of these factors – personal strengths, life’s opportunities, our sphere of influence and the geographical places we find ourselves in, carry the secret to our purpose in life.

When I was younger, I experienced prayer as a form of conformity. Today, I experience prayer as a form of resistance.

I grew up in a typical Chabad family and as a religious Jew, praying three times daily was just something I did. Even in the school I attended, prayer was marked just like any other subject. Report cards would grade our attendance, behaviour and involvement during prayer. For so many years, prayer for me was just a routine task.

Today as a Rabbi (which is not your average 9 to 5 desk job!) with a lifestyle that is very demanding, more and more often I find myself struggling with prioritising my attention within my work, and trying to create a healthy work, life and family balance.

Technology and social media are not helping. Instinctively, in every free second I have, I find my hand searching for my phone and almost unconsciously begin the lifeless scroll through the usual suspects: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc.

By the time I raise my head from the screen, my mind is filled with politics, gossip and news that does little to enrich my day to day life.

So today, prayer for me is a way to stop, and disrupt the monotony. To remind myself of my purpose. To reinforce the structures in my life and to do all this with a more heightened focus.

Another look at prayer

The English term prayer comes from the Medieval Latin word precariat, meaning ‘petition’, which is from precari, meaning ‘to ask for, or entreat’.

As human beings, when facing a problem or when we are in need, we turn to our natural resources to help. When we’re sick, we go to the Doctor. When we need a loan, we go to the bank.

But sometimes we cap our natural reserves, and we need to look a little higher. We pray, beseech, even beg for what we lack and are unable to obtain on our own.

Prayer, at its most basic form, is the human call for divine help.

The problem with the above is, if we’re not particularly lacking for anything, or have no wants or needs, then we have no requirement for prayer.

More importantly, if prayer was all about requesting and imploring, then ‘Prayer’ in Hebrew would not be called tefillah, but bakashah – which means request, or beseech.

Our daily prayers are not simply requests addressed to G‑d and nothing more. Of course, such requests are also included in our prayers, but by and large our prayers are much more than that.

Prayer in Hebrew is tefillah. The literal interpretation of the Hebrew word tefillah is to attach oneself—to join or to unite.

During prayer we join our Neshomoh—the divine spark within us—to its divine source. Just as a small flame when it is put close to a larger flame is absorbed into the larger flame, our soul longs to be reunited with and reabsorbed by its source.

In these oases in time set aside for prayer, our soul unites with its source and is nourished, refreshed and recharged.

When we engage in prayer properly, we are meant to feel a fresh flow of energy from our source.

This is the function of tefillah, and these moments of connection are necessary for everyone. While there may be those who do not lack anything and thus have nothing to request of G‑d, there is no one who does not need the precious opportunity prayer provides— to attach oneself to the source of all life and a higher purpose.

For me, prayer is not about changing my situation. It’s about changing myself to properly address and take on the given situation.

G‑d does not need my prayers; He can do without it, but I cannot do without my prayers.

Prayer is the ability to say no to the demands of technology and the world around us—to turn off devices, noise and societal pressures, and be in control of your time.

Daily prayer offers a micro taste of Sabbath within the mayhem of the daily grind.

In Hebrew, a prayer book is not called a Sefer tefilah (which would be Hebrew for a prayer book) but siddur, which comes from the Hebrew word ‘seder’, which means ‘order’. The Siddur has the set order of the regular prayers. But perhaps more profoundly, it is called siddur because it offers the ability to bring order to the chaos of our lives.

When I pray alone, it allows for my mind to breathe, to confide with the Creator of the Universe my fears but also my dreams. It is a time of self-reflection and self-evaluation. Am I being a positive influence on my surroundings? Am I fulfilling my potential? Am I grateful for the many blessings in my life? Do I live with humility, acknowledging that all those blessing are a gift from above.

When I pray with community, it creates a shared harmonious experience with other human beings. My song and my prayers are lifted and carried with the tunes and prayers of others. I feel reassured with this strong sense of community and belonging.

Today, I no longer pray for my prayers to be answered. I pray to connect. I pray to gain insight, to know my needs and what I should be praying for in the first place. I pray to direct my mind and heart to the source of my blessings and comprehend their true objectives.

So, while the world mindlessly conforms, with their heads in their devices, I make time to read the ancient Hebrew words of the Siddur, to disrupt and help me rise above the monotony and enslavements of daily life.

Three short prayers to start with:

1. Modeh Ani. 

Immediately upon awakening every day, while still lying in bed, we express thanks to G-d for the gift of life by saying the Modeh Ani prayer.

Modeh ani lefanecha melech chai vekayam, she-he-chezarta bee nishmatee b’chemla, raba emunatecha.

I offer thanks to You, living and eternal King, for You have mercifully restored my soul within me; Your faithfulness is great.

Modeh Ani encourages our first conscious moments are ones of gratitude and purpose.

Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for today and the opportunities it brings. Most importantly, thank you for having faith in me that I will accomplish something worthwhile today. That it was worth my soul returning back into this physical world, because there is something I need to do today that no one else can achieve.

My every interaction today has a purpose; to bring perfection into our sometimes imperfect world and to transform darkness into light. 

2. The night-time Shema.

Many people suffer from the resentments and grudges they harbour.

Letting go of resentments is not just about feeling better, it’s about getting rid of the one thing that stops us from living our true lives.

It’s not only unloading, but also reloading—reclaiming our lives back.

Letting go of the past hurt is integral to mental, emotional and spiritual health. The problem is that we allow resentments to fester without dealing with them immediately.

Each day should start new and fresh, with no leftover baggage from the day before. The Hebrew word for sleep, Sheinah, resembles the Hebrew word for change, Shinui. We want our tomorrow to be different and not be burdened by today. And we all know that how we slept at night determines a lot of how we perform the next day.

Before we retire at night, we pray the night time Shema. It begins with a paragraph on forgiveness, which helps ease the stress and anger that may result from hurt by another.

Before the day ends, we engage in a process of self-empowerment by letting go of some of our resentments, and moving on to a better place. When saying the Shema we place our hand over our eyes. We are trying to see a place we can only see with eyes closed; a tomorrow with endless potential that is not inhibited by resentments from the past.

3. The shortest and succinct prayer I know: A deep breath in and a long exhale out.

The word נשמה (Neshamah) or ‘soul’ is a cognate of the word נשימה (Neshimah) ‘to breathe’.

Many people suffer emotional stress and unhappiness caused by their attempts to control the uncontrollable. When I try to control the uncontrollable, I forfeit my true identity and the result is emotional stress and tension.

The very fact that we were born as our own person with a soul, testifies that we are here to live a specific life.

There are experiences we are meant to have and people we are meant to be of service to. We are not here to reach a model of perfection. Just are here to live our own best lives and to be true to ourselves.

A key factor that stops us is the obsession with controlling the uncontrollable.

Functional living is living in reality, living in the moment as it is, and being ok with this moment, the way G-d wants it to be. By trying to control the uncontrollable, by not living our lives, we are trying to play G-d.

Throughout the day, when we encounter difficult moments that are beyond our control, stopping and taking a deep breath reaffirms that my story has an author, and that is G-d, and in this moment things are exactly how they need to be. Things can change from moment to moment, but for now, I’m exactly where I need to be. A deep breath is my faith, which allows me to face reality.

 For a 2 minute audio version click here

On the first night of Chanukah we light one candle, on the second two, on the third three and so on. What lies behind this? 

Jewish holidays and their customs don’t simply commemorate historical events. Indeed they are primarily spiritual. On a Jewish holiday, the same energy that created it re-emerges and allows us to tap into its meaning and message. At the heart of every Jewish holiday is something real and relevant, something timeless and eternal for us to capitalise on.

Lighting the Menorah represents the spiritual and moral strength we all possess to overcome darkness and bring more light and inspiration to ourselves and the world. The Menorah epitomises our personal dedication and commitment to battle our ‘inner enemy’, which wishes to contaminate our inner sanctuary and stop us from being the people we can truly be.

The way we light the Menorah is not simply about numbers or patterns, but is in fact a strategy for meaningful living.

Living a productive life involves turning away from inner negativity by decreasing bad behaviour and increasing in goodness by filling our days with positive energy and actions. Quite simply, there are things I won’t do and there are things I must do.

But on which of these approaches should we focus more of our energy?

The Menorah teaches us not to wait until we are fully clear of negativity and dysfunction. This may never occur; hence we lose the opportunity to make constructive change. By filling our life with positivity and acts of goodness and kindness, slowly the inner darkness will disappear. 

We never begin with focusing on negativity. When working on living a meaningful life, always begin with positivity, even if personal issues remain unresolved. Create a schedule filled with small and manageable positive actions. True, initially the light may be small, perhaps only one candle. But as the days go on, our light will get brighter and brighter. Allow it to grow and the personal miracles will unfold.

For a 2 minute audio version click here 

Even when we make a genuine effort to associate with people who face life optimistically and to spend more time in uplifting environments, it’s still not always possible to escape undesirable surroundings. This could be the atmosphere of your workplace or a toxic family member. And to change one’s employment or disavow a family member is neither practical nor menschlich. 

While we are shaped by our environment, we also have the ability to be proactive and to influence others. We can choose to be givers rather than receivers and when we focus on turning outwards and positively influencing and inspiring others, we don’t absorb negativity from the atmosphere around us.

When we are in the company of family and friends we should not be afraid to let our voices be heard and to be proactive about our values. This does not mean one should be confrontational or condescending. Rather, we should share what we believe is beneficial, healthy and worthy, in a spirit of genuine love. By busying ourselves spreading positivity and helping others, chances are we simply won’t have time to get dragged down by any negativity in our environment.

In Genesis, to illustrate the sheer multitude of Abraham’s prospective descendants, G-d compares them to the stars of the sky. But the lesson from the stars is not only their quantity. The specific utilisation and the quality of the stars teaches us an important lesson: the stars were the original GPS system. By their light, even one walking in the darkness of the desert or travelling the vast ocean does not blunder.   So too the descendants of Abraham are like stars, possessing enough moral and spiritual light to influence others.

We all have people in our lives who could be, inspired, or moved in the right direction, and it is our unique message and delivery that can help.

Go ahead. Be the star G-d spoke of so many years ago! 

For an under 2 minute audio click here 

It’s a mistake to think that adults are immune to peer pressure.   Confident and resilient though they may be, adults are nonetheless impressionable. 

Human beings are social creatures. Our friends, community and society in general influence our perspectives, values, ethics and choices.

The impact that our surroundings have on us is not always obvious. Often it’s a subtle, more subconscious effect that changes one’s feelings, sensitivities or aspirations. The Midrash provides us with a wonderful analogy. One who walks into a perfume shop leaves there smelling good, even if she or he doesn’t actually dab the perfume directly on themselves.  

This analogy holds true with the people with whom we associate. We take with us their ways of conduct and approach to living.

Want to develop your sensitivity? Spend more time with compassionate people.

Thirsting for more spirituality? Surround yourself with people who are more spiritually inclined.

Want to develop a more positive attitude toward yourself and the world around you? Socialise with people who face life in an optimistic manner.

We all need to invest our time in environments that are uplifting. A physically and spiritually healthy social circle will generate and enhance constructive and healthy living.  

For an under 2 minute audio version click here  

There are certain things in life we can only see with eyes closed. There are certain things in life we can only grasp by letting them go.

How often in life have we been stuck on a certain project and only when we stopped obsessing and let go did the creativity begin to flow again.

In life our journey is best traveled lightly. Letting go of past hurt is integral to our mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Holding onto resentments is like setting yourself on fire and expecting the other person will die of smoke inhalation.

It’s not easy to let go of resentments, but it is within the capacity of what human beings are capable of.

Many people are told by family and friends, “let go and you will feel better”.

But in truth, letting go of resentments is not just about feeling better.

There is much more one can do to feel better, for example, visiting a spa or going on vacation. However letting go is about getting rid of whatever stops us from living our true lives. Grudges and resentments too often dictate the way we live and therefore stop us from being true to ourselves and to our purpose in life.

Letting go is not unloading; it is reloading and reclaiming our lives.

Course of action:

When I carry resentments, I am allowing the tyranny of people, places and things to direct the story of my life. I am therefore attributing uniquely G-d like power to them and I am in fact idolizing my resentments.

We need to decide who occupies the space of our mind. When we focus on ourselves, our journey in life and the people we are meant to be of service to, we become less consumed by resentments and more empowered by our dignity. 

The Pesach Seder can reach deep into the human psyche and help develop a sense of inner freedom within all who participate. 

Every detail is firmly grounded in the mystical teachings of Judaism. Each step has not just a body, but a soul as well, a simple meaning as well as a deep lesson towards higher consciousness.

The Seder’s success is awe-inspiring. No ritual has survived so long and so true to its original form. No lesson has affected humankind with such impact, propagating the values of human dignity, liberty and the search for higher meaning.

To this day, in every corner of the world, Jews come together to reconstruct that original Passover Seder, again and again, year after year. And every year, there is more to learn.

Many people believe that matzah was an accidental invention, the result of the children of Israel hastily fleeing from Egypt with no time for their dough to rise. As the verse states, “They baked the dough that they had brought out of Egypt into matzah rounds, for it had not leavened – because they were driven out of Egypt and could not delay.”[1]

Yet earlier in the very same chapter we see the Jews already had eaten matzah the night before they left Egypt. Obeying G-d’s instructions, they conducted a seder which featured three primary foods: “They shall eat the meat [of the Pascal Lamb]. It shall be roasted over fire eaten with matzah and bitter herbs.”[2]

So seemingly matzah was not created by accident. How can we reconcile this with the verse that indicates that matzah was a result of the rush out of Egypt?

One answer suggests that there were two “matzah moments” that were both integral parts of the Exodus story. One matzah the Jews ate while still in Egypt pre redemption. Another matzah was eaten while escaping Egypt post redemption.

Jewish mysticism teaches that the Jewish people in Egypt suffered not only physical enslavement, but were also habituated to pagan beliefs and very unholy lifestyles.   It was a time of deep spiritual bondage; after so many years of dependence, they had neither the tools nor the courage to escape from it.

“The supreme king, the Holy One, blessed be He, revealed Himself unto (the Jews) and redeemed them.”[3]

It was with His help that a morally corrupt and spiritually desensitised people were able to overcome such extreme helplessness and be ready for redemption. Now the Jews were finally ready to be liberated from their external and internal task masters.

But G-d does not help until we show we are ready for redemption. That’s why the commandment to eat matzah came before G-d delivered the Jews. Matzah - which is simply bread that does not rise and inflate - represents a state of self-reckoning and humility wherein individuals realise that where they are now is not where they want to be. This is a very healthy sense of humility which is an absolute prerequisite to redemption.

So which matzah are we commemorating at the seder?  

The answer is “both”.

We recall the accidental matzah that was the result of the hasty escape, but we also appreciate and remember the effort the children of Israel made to humble themselves in anticipation of the redemption, as symbolised by the matzah they ate the previous night. 

The story of Egyptian exile was a prototype of all subsequent exiles both national and personal.

Nobody wants to admit defeat. But it is “…only through utter defeat that we are we able to take our first steps towards liberation and strength. Our admission of personal powerlessness finally turns out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.”[4]

Refusing to believe that our lives have become unmanageable is being in denial and many seem to be very good at that. In order to take the appropriate steps towards recovery, we first must accept that there is a problem. If we can recognise this and that we personally lack the control to repair it, our next conclusion is inevitably that we need to enlist help from a power greater than ourselves.

This is where humility comes in as a mode for day to day living, a “complete deflation”, which allows us to look outside ourselves for the much needed help which is the basis of recovery.

And so it was with the Exodus. G-d’s redemption only came once the Jews had their serving of humble matzah. They recognised they were in a place they did not want to be and that only through the true power of G-d were they able to be redeemed. As the famous AA recovery slogan goes, “There is no magic in recovery, just miracles.”

So as you crunch on your matzah this Pesach, let go of your ego and allow G-d to enter. Only this will  provide the humility and sobriety that is necessary to free us from our personal bondage.
_____________________
 

[1] Exodus 12:39 

[2] Exodus 12:8

[3] Passover Haggadah

[4] Twelve steps and twelve traditions (AA)

 
Dear Rabbi,

You are well acquainted with my recovery from alcohol addiction and how this journey brought me back to my Jewish heritage.

Due to my previous limited understanding, I always saw Purim as a Jewish version of Halloween. My recent Jewish learning, however, has now given me much more understanding and appreciation of this Jewish holiday, its historical significance and meaning for us as Jews today. 

But as a recovering alcoholic there is just one detail I cannot comprehend. How can Jews be encouraged to consume alcohol in excess on Purim to the point where one “cannot differentiate between cursed is Haman and blessed is Mordechai”[1]?

Firstly, the dangers of alcohol are well known. How can there be an endorsement of such extreme levels of intoxication where one cannot discern between the most basic distinctions? Secondly, how can I, a recovering alcoholic, fulfil this obligation? There must be more to this mitzvah!

For a 2 minute audio click here 

People have always wondered what are the forces and objectives that drive humanity

Jewish philosophy teaches that there is no one answer. Rather, two distinct and opposing agendas, which derive from two different modes of consciousness, are what drive us.

It is human nature to be inconsistent. Our desires can be contradictory. At times we seek base and materialistic pleasure, at other times we yearn for meaning and spirituality. Chassidic philosophy explains that this dichotomy is a result of the ongoing inner battle between our G-dly soul and our animal soul, each fighting for supremacy and control. 

The particulars of this struggle are unique to each individual. Our G-dly soul, which is the source of all that is good within us, strives for sanctity and transcendence, looking to use all our resources and talents in the interest of developing a relationship with G‑d and to help our fellows.

Our animal soul, however, fights to drag us down into mundane depths in order to fulfill its selfish desires. It is governed by instinct and impulse. The results of the animal drive range from basic self-centeredness, all the way to self-destructive action. Like competing wrestlers, one drive may be in control at one moment, the other drive in control the next.

In life, many look to attain inner peace and serenity. But when tranquility remains elusive, they feel deprived. This may lead to potentially destructive distractions and escapes - unfortunately even through the medium of artificial stimulants - to avoid inner tension.

In our lifetime on earth, inner peace is not a given. But our goal should be that the force of all that is good within us gains mastery over the animalistic. While the struggle may continue our entire lives, we must constantly be involved with good, plugging in deeper into our G-dly souls.