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In my previous post I wrote how forgiveness is a gift one gives to themselves, and the process of forgiveness drives away depression, stress and anger. With forgiveness comes healing and self-confidence. Our mental wellbeing requires that we practice the art of forgiveness.
But if one is hurt, how can they forgo their feelings to feel differently? They may have been hurt in body, mind or heart. What if one is never ready or interested in forgiving?
To answer this, we need a deeper understanding of forgiveness.
“There are multiple levels of forgiveness. Among them:
1. The victim forgives in the sense that the victim desires that the offender should not suffer Divine punishment. The victim might still harbour animosity toward the offender, but it has been mitigated to the extent that the victim desires that no harm befall the offender.
2. One forgives to the degree that one harbors no animosity toward the offender. Moreover, the victim desires good for the offender. Yet, the relationship between the two parties is not as it was before the offense.
3. The victim is completely appeased and therefore forgives wholeheartedly. The relationship between offender and victim is exactly as it was before the offense.”
- The Lubavitcher Rebbe
Forgiveness is about restoring a relationship. Forgiveness is a spectrum. Forgiveness is a process. Forgiveness is possible.