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“Simcha (joy) nullifies all internal and external obstacles and impediments…causing them to be repelled of themselves, just as darkness is removed by light.”
-Rabbi Shne’ur Zalman of Liadi, first Chabad Rebbe
Our attitudes are not simply passive backdrops for what happens in our lives. On the contrary, they are of utmost importance if one wants to live a life of joy.
A practical idea for generating an attitude of joy, even when the circumstances are not conducive to it, is putting things in perspective i.e. in their proper frame of reference. This way we don’t exaggerate the bad and minimise the good.
Without perspective we tend to:
1. See things in black and white.
For example, if you performance falls short, you see yourself as a complete failure. This is all or nothing thinking.
For example, if you performance falls short, you see yourself as a complete failure. This is all or nothing thinking.
2. Dwell solely on the negative.
You pick out a single negative detail and exclusively dwell on it. As a result all your vison and reality become darkened.
You pick out a single negative detail and exclusively dwell on it. As a result all your vison and reality become darkened.
3. Ignore the Positive.
Positive experiences are rejected by saying for whatever reason that “they don’t count”.
Positive experiences are rejected by saying for whatever reason that “they don’t count”.
4. Personalise Things.
You see yourself as the main cause of some external negative experiences, which you were in fact not primarily responsible for.
You see yourself as the main cause of some external negative experiences, which you were in fact not primarily responsible for.
The solution to these tendencies is perspective. Consider: is a small blunder indicative of total failure? Will a single negative event lead to a pattern of never ending negativity?