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Every time a person imposes their self upon others, unhappiness follows.
Often we have this vision of how other people are meant to be. Actually the closer they are to us, the surer we are that we know how they should be behaving. But this is investment of emotional energy that will not pay off.
The emotion of love drives empathy and concern. Love is to give. In Hebrew, love is אהבה whose root is הב, which means to give. But sometimes giving when not asked for or not needed is invasive, such as an unwanted opinion.
Respect, on the other hand, is withholding. Respect enables us to take a step back and give others the space they need to operate independently, to make their own decisions and walk their own path. For example respecting another’s opinion even if we don’t agree with it. Respect is appreciating another’s unique personality that sets them apart from you.
Love is – Going out of my way for you.
Respect is - Getting out of my way for you.
The key to healthy relationships and interactions, ones that avoid disappointment and stress, is to find the proper balance between love and respect. Because untempered love is smothering and invasive, while untempered respect is distant and uncaring.
