For an under 2 minute audio version click here
Perhaps the greatest challenge to our happiness is suffering the loss of a loved one.
For many, it is a devastating experience. Some people are never the same again. Others recover only after years of melancholy and depression.
Before we discuss the unique Jewish framework and tools that the Torah provides to aid us in coping with loss, we will first look at some commonly reported human responses to traumatic loss.
For many, it is a devastating experience. Some people are never the same again. Others recover only after years of melancholy and depression.
Before we discuss the unique Jewish framework and tools that the Torah provides to aid us in coping with loss, we will first look at some commonly reported human responses to traumatic loss.
The Five Stages of Grief
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, PhD, On Death and Dying.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, PhD, On Death and Dying.
1. Denial
Because the reality of loss is hard to face, one of the first reactions is the attempt to shut it out and to develop a false, preferable reality.
2. Anger
The person is overcome by a sense of anger. They are plagued by questions such as “Why me?” and “How could G-d allow this to happen?”
3. Bargaining
The person makes all sorts of “bargains’ with themselves or with a Higher Power, in the hope that this can somehow undo the cause of grief.
4. Depression
As the reality of what has occurred sinks in, depression takes hold. ‘My life is over,” “There is no point of going on; why bother with anything”. The person withdraws into a lonely, paralyzing grief.
5. Acceptance
The person comes to terms with the tragedy, accepts the new reality, and regains emotional equilibrium.
Kubler-Ross emphasizes that these stages are not a strictly linear process. Not everyone experiences all five stages or experiences them in the same way. Nor does everyone experience them in this particular order. But on a whole, these are the common emotional responses to a devastating loss.
Be sure to join us next week as we examine the faith based approach to dealing with the death of a loved one.
For an under 2 minute audio version click here