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Envy is one of the Ten Commandments, but compared to the others it gets very little attention. After all, when dealing with things like murder and theft, a little jealousy hardly seems to be a concern.
But in truth, envy is an everyday emotion that most people grapple with. Nobody is free from its harmful influence. It is powerful and destructive and it can cripple our wellbeing.
Crucially, however, Judaism teaches that envy can be overcome and be used at a catalyst for personal growth. Moments of jealousy are opportunities to transcend our current nature and to refine ourselves.
What is the root cause of envy?
Envy results from self-centeredness. We view the world through our own lenses, seeing everything in reference to ourselves. This leads to envy. When one is unable to view others’ success, achievements and acquisitions in isolation, we grow jealous and ask ourselves “What about me?”
We cannot cure ourselves of envy by fighting it head on. Why tackle the symptom and not the cause? We must strive for selflessness by dedicating ourselves to being more giving, compassionate and humble.
Then when our friend tells us about their promotion, their holiday or nachas from their children, I can truly be happy for them. I can see their success in isolation and not in terms of myself. Then it’s my friend’s moment, not mine.
This character development is not easy. It entails expanding our perceptions to include others besides our precious selves.
But it begins with crossing a great divide from our instinctive, subjective and egotistical take on our surroundings to a more spiritual and humble perspective.